Enuku Lipenga thanks for creating this ♥️

So this blog won’t be a story but bits and pieces of my ideas and unfinished blogs about love and just life in general because for the longest time I couldn’t write and this is what I had.

Love is patient, love is kind. Love isn’t crying yourself to sleep and love isn’t sacrificing your happiness for someone else. Love has always fascinated me and I can’t seem to stop reading about or asking questions about it and I have this idea that perfect love exists. That’s a bit unrealistic and maybe perfect is the wrong word to use but I have this idea of a love that never ends and when it perfect it will never end. It sounds like a hopeless romantic well it’s because I am.

I always thought that if you loved someone they would love you back or they would at least be nice to you but what people do instead is use that love against you and try to break you down and you think that what they give you is what we deserve because that little bit of love is enough to keep you going.

We often make the mistake of thinking that people will do for us what we do for them. I always thought that love is reciprocated but I’ve seen people love someone wholeheartedly but they don’t get loved back maybe just a little attention to make them stay.

How many of my flaws are you willing to accept? No. Not ignore because they’ll always be there. And no don’t ask me to change them because they are part of me. No, I’m not accepting my bad habits as you put them. They make me. Me. Because even a rainbow comes after rain? Are you willing to weather the storms that are my mood swings? My bad days when I don’t want to talk to anyone? The days I feel most insecure? Will you stay when I constantly push you away? Will you wipe my tears away when I have my breakdowns? I read something somewhere about weathering thunderstorms and getting sunshine after. Because the sun doesn’t shine all the time.

You knew what it took to make me stay and get you didn’t bother to make the changes that you had to. I don’t hold anything against you maybe I was silly for thinking that it would work this time around. I would do almost anything to make you happy and that too didn’t make you want to be with me and only me. So don’t come and question what I feel because you always mattered more and where does that leave me? So I had to go away for my own good.

I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I left you alone to fend for yourself emotionally. I mean I have my own emotions to worry about but yours mattered more. I always put you before me but that didn’t make anything better did it? And since I care for both of us I don’t think you may up at night as much as I do.

You’re everywhere but here with me. You occupy most of my thoughts and whenever I sleep you’re all I dream about.

Date: 16th March 2018

A love that makes you write poems. That makes sunsets beautiful. That makes you ignore sweaty palms when you hold hands on a hot day.

Date: 1st March 2018

I want to write about how you look away when the sun hits your face.

You’re often told to find someone that “completes” you so you go around thinking that you’re inadequate and cling desperately to whatever comes along but you’re a whole.

You should have called me smart instead of pretty maybe then I wouldn’t spend so much time in the mirror criticizing my flaws

I could rant and rave about how society is the reason why we behave the way we do but at the end of it’s our own decision to make. Conform to what society says we should be or go against its foundations

New blog every Friday ♥️ A writer and a Gemini

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