Part of a conversation I had with a friend but he won’t let me show his name and I meant to say but not bit
What is love? Is it happiness? is love what I feel when I see my mother? Is it the strong need I feel to protect her? Is love what I feel when my boyfriend calls me beautiful? Or is love what I feel when I see my nephew happy?
I guess love is a “feeling” and we all have our own definitions. Some say it does not exist or it is hard to find. I have felt love and with love comes happiness or pain. But then when it comes to love I guess the love you get from family, friends and the love you get from someone you are dating is different. And at the end of the day, we have our own idea of what love is or what it should be.
My cousin once told me, “You are not in love but in love with the idea of being in love”. I was probably 16 at the time, pretty young if you ask me because I am 21 now. So he said that because I was dating this guy and it wasn’t that good of a situation. Coming to think of it I would not want anyone to be in a relationship at that age. I mean you’re still discovering yourself and trying to find out who you are. Around 16 you’re probably going through that phase where you hate yourself and all. Why would you think that you love someone else if you don’t even love yourself? if you don’t know what love is how would you know if what’s being given to you is love?
Self-love is important and not a lot of people know that. I’ve met and I know a lot of people that stay in bad relationships because they love the person they are with. Is love getting beaten up and cheated on? Is love being treated like you are worth nothing? That isn't loving. Love isn’t supposed to hurt. I’m not saying that relationships are always rosy but the bad shouldn’t outweigh the good. You should be happy. You deserve happiness. So if you’re are not happy then leave, it’s easier said than done though.
I am tired of people saying, “But I love him/her” after they complain about the person they are with and you tell them to leave. What about your happiness? We must be selfish with our happiness. Once we learn to love ourselves it will be easier to receive the love we deserve and if it isn’t that then we should walk away.
So love is a commitment, it’s not easy but it shouldn’t be too hard. It shouldn’t make you so unhappy that you lose yourself in all that sadness. People shouldn’t accept suffering and sadness and call it love. This isn't loving. For some, it could be because they have low self-esteem and they don’t understand or know their worth so they accept whatever is given to them.
Know your worth, love yourself and you will be on your way to happiness. You don’t have to base your happiness on someone else. Love yourself.