I think about my death more often than I should.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how I’ll die more often than I should. In a suicidal sense? Maybe. But this one time I was listening to music using my headsets and Midnight Train by Sam Smith came on. It’s such a beautiful song, your typical lost love kind of song. It wasn’t about unrequited love or anything but he was singing about leaving his lover. So I imagined getting hit by a car (morbid I know) and then my phone would be a little bit away from my body and the song would keep playing as I bleed out on the road. Maybe the person that hit me would stop and people would obviously surround me wondering what to do. All of this sounded poetic in my bed but now it just seems dark. I can’t be the only person that has a song that they would want to die too. But anyway I haven’t written in the longest time and all of this just came to me well the idea has been in my head but actually writing it. I’ve had a bad couple of months could be the reason why I couldn’t write but it shouldn’t be that way I should write because of what I’m feeling but I have issues with baring my soul and having another read about it. As cathartic as writing is I’m not that big of a sharer so most of what I’ve read has been in my journal and the notes app on my phone. Someone very special to me reminded me yesterday that I should focus more on my blog and writing a novel which I seemed to have forgotten even though that’s my end goal in life, my main aspirations in life are to be a mother and a writer and I’ll make sure that I write as often as I can. I always tell myself that I’ll blog every week but that never happens and I’ll have to get to that because how can I be a writer if I can’t write? This is a good start and I already have an idea about what I’ll write about next.

To my faithful readers, I’m sorry that I’ve been slacking lately but I promise to do better.

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